The Road Ahead

I haven’t shared much about myself personally here yet, so I thought I’d take a minute to share some of my story.

I am a Mother to five beautiful children, one of whom is profoundly Deaf. We use American Sign Language, or ASL, to communicate. 

I am recently divorced. I was married for just over 17 years and this past Friday, I signed my divorce papers. 

I’m not going to make this about my marriage, but I do think it is valuable to share my experience with divorce.

I actually am a child of divorce. My parents split up when I was 4 and I grew up in the middle of all their conflicts that followed. 

One of my main focuses, before I got married, was to not ever put my children through what I had experienced. Originally, I always felt that meant I would not ever get divorced. 

After being married though, I realized that marriage was not what I had expected (no big surprise there to anyone else who has been married, I’m sure). More than that, however, I realized that I may have misunderstood what was required to ensure one never got divorced. 

I’m not going to go into detail about why I ultimately felt divorce was the right choice for me, or when in my marriage I came to the realization that it was right for me, but I will say that I fought against that feeling for a very long time. 

I will say that preventing my children from experiencing what I did as a child of divorce was a major motivator for me to make my marriage work. 

I did do everything I knew how to do to save my marriage. Ultimately, I realized that I could be divorced and not let my children have the same experience. 

And this realization is what ultimately gave me the strength to pursue a divorce.

But again, that isn’t the point of this post.

The point is, what do you do when it is all over?

When you’ve divided the assets.

Settled the accounts.

Arranged for time for each of you with the children you created together.

Signed all the papers.

When it is DONE….

I know what I am doing…

Moving forward. 

Creating my own destiny.

Pursuing my dreams.

Taking all my pent-up energy and putting it into the things I am passionate about.

The road ahead is never certain.

There is no special mirror that shows you what is around the next bend.

But I firmly believe that when you learn to be aware of your thoughts and your feelings and how they influence your actions and ultimately results, you can face all of that uncertainty with:

Hope.

Confidence.

Faith.

This doesn’t mean you never have doubts or worries or struggles.

It just means you recognize where they are really coming from–you–and you can course correct at any time. 

And all along the way.

When you take responsibility for your own thoughts, behaviors, and emotions, you take responsibility for your life.

When you take responsibility for your life, THAT is when you experience freedom. And TRUE joy.

Here’s to the road ahead.

Katie Anne